Planes, Scantily-Clad Dames, & Automobiles:
Fourth of July Parade

Anyone who thinks the mountains are the only colorful scenery in Telluride has never seen our town’s most treasured spectacle, the Fourth of July Parade. With over 100 entries, the local extravaganza features the gamut in parade fare; from motorcycles to unicycles, kids dressed in costume to veterans dressed in uniforms, cowboys on horseback to politicians in convertibles.

“We encourage creativity,” said parade director Richard Wodehouse, “and entries that display a sense of humor.”

Wodehouse’s call does not go unheeded, as the event has evolved into more of a chaotic circus than a parade. In past years, the celebration down main street has included floats with rock bands, scantily-clad majorettes called Rauncherettes, and a dance troupe of men who profess and display a lack of rhythm, Men Without Rhythm. Cowgirls perform stupefying rope tricks; a man dressed in a patriotic super hero costume scoops up horse droppings to the beat of elaborate dance moves. One summer there was even a comic rendition of a Cool Hand Luke scene where a “Luke-alike” ate 50—yes, 50—eggs while walking the length of the parade route.

Wodehouse remembered a float from the parade’s early days, involving a hot tub being dragged on skis behind a truck. The skis looked like sparklers, spitting fire from the friction. “And the hot tub was full,” said Wodehouse. “Over the years, there have been things that made me laugh and things that have made me cry.”

The parade was restored to its former glory, after a hiatus in the early 70s. As always, its popularity was boundless, but in those days, with more entrants than spectators, the town had problems managing all the motorcycle gangs that showed up.

“The motorcycle gangs started causing a lot of trouble, so the town cancelled all of their festivities for a number of years,” said Joyce Allred, Telluride local and former ski area owner. “When Telluride finally started having the barbeque and fireworks display again, it did not reinstate the parade.”

Eventually, Allred took matters into her own hands and in 1989, she and good friend Shari Flatt decided to organize, or reorganize, the event.

“We collected donations, put an ad in the paper, made announcements on KOTO,” recalled Allred. “We talked it up all around town and begged our friends to participate.” Allred admitted she and Flatt still weren’t sure anyone would show up, but they were happily surprised. “I think every kid, dog, bicycle, tricycle and wagon showed up that first year, and most of their parents,” said Allred.

Today, a team coordinates the event. Motorcycles kick-start the festivities and lead the entourage, as soon as they receive the signal from the low-flying airplane buzzing down main street. The prominent placement of the motorcycles, explains Wodehouse, is a function of necessity.

“Years ago, we moved them to the very start of the parade,” said Wodehouse, “because the end of the parade moves at a snail’s pace. Going slowly at the end was causing clutch and overheating problems for the bikes.”

Wodehouse manages all such concerns, organizing entrants to ensure the parade is fun to watch and flows smoothly. He separates groups with loud music, makes sure there aren’t too many consecutive vehicles, and intersperses the different themes of entrants to keep it interesting. And, of course, he has the horses bring up the rear. “For obvious reasons,” remarked Wodehouse, hinting at the animals’ unpredictable nature and tendency to make a mess along the parade route.

Crowds are as remarkable as the event itself, with tons of people flowing into the community each year. Telluride’s small-town parade received national media attention a few years ago, when part-time resident General H. Norman Schwarzkopf addressed the veterans and started the parade.
“It’s the biggest single-day festival of the year,” said co-director Christie Harrison. “It’s community-sponsored, community-attended and a community celebration of our country. I mean, it seems half the town is in the parade.”
The size of the crowd is so large that, unless spectators come early to claim a sidewalk spot, they often get tripped up in traffic or left behind in the Gondola line. “It’s painful for us to start when there’s still a line of cars out to the Texaco,” said Wodehouse.

Commencement of the parade is dictated, in part, by other Fourth of July events. The fire department sponsors an afternoon barbecue and festivities in the Town Park, as well as an evening fireworks display. The town of Mountain Village also hosts afternoon activities, and the Telluride Historical Museum offers pastries and drinks to visitors before the parade.

To register, entrants can get registration forms online at www.town.telluride.co.us (under the topic “Fourth of July”); pick up forms at the Telluride Realty front office, Telluride Real Estate Corporation offices and Franz Klammer office in Mountain Village; or cut out the form printed in the Daily Planet.

“The wonderful thing about the parade is that it is not political, it is not a social statement, it is not for profit,” said Allred. “It is all about the kids, dogs, and kids at heart. It’s about families enjoying a weekend together in our beautiful little paradise.” ts